Is Overthinking getting the better of you?
Overthinking is very common and involves continuously thinking the same thoughts, usually revolving around the same issue. It can feel like you are in a never ending loop, unable to make clear decisions.
Why overthink an issue?
When it’s a personal decision about your future, overthinking can occur for many reasons. You may feel a lack of confidence, fear of failure or have internal conflict. It may be that there is high expectation from an external source or you feel a lack of control. However the biggest driver for overthinking an issue or decision is uncertainty. The inevitable ‘not knowing’ what the future holds or fear of making the wrong decision and the brain goes into overdrive to ponder, resolve and fix.
Suddenly you may find yourself over analysing, thinking of the worst, focusing on the negatives and contemplating each possible outcome, this is called rumination. Your intention is to resolve the feeling of uncertainty and you convince yourself you are being rational and productive in this process.
Unfortunately the more you overthink the more confused and indecisive you become. Your perception of your reality gets distorted and to top it off, this process is repeated again and again. You can find yourself in a vicious circle, an unresourceful loop, desperately searching for resolution, clarification and understanding.
I often hear clients say to me; ‘my mind can’t stop thinking about this’ - ‘my brain is always processing the same information’ - ‘I’m going round and round’ - ‘I can’t see clearly’ - ‘I lie awake at night exploring every possible avenue’.
The need to get a resolution, make a decision, get clarity to move forward are important. When I ask clients to stop thinking or to press pause. They either look at me confused or I see them looking relieved. Either way it is important to reflect upon whether your thinking is resourceful or destructive.
How can you break the overthinking cycle and get clarity?
Here are 7 ways to Conquer Overthinking and take control of your thinking:
Productive or Counterproductive
Distinguish between ’effective thinking’, where you are able to focus, consider relevant information and be constructive at problem-solving? Or overthinking which involves excessive rumination, creating unnecessary complexities. Ask yourself: Am I thoughtfully considering options and thinking clearly or am I overthinking?
Analysis Paralysis
Recognise when you have overthought a decision to the point you no longer see the wood from the trees. This leads to indecision and inaction due to an abundance of information.
To Be or Not to Be
Being comfortable with not knowing at times can ensure the problem doesn’t control you. When you feel threatened by a thought or issue, anxiety picks up pace. Therefore accepting that you don’t have the answers yet can enlighten you.
Approach or Avoid
You can either engage in unwanted feelings or ignore them. When you engage with feelings, you are more likely to identify the real challenge. Ask yourself. What am I avoiding? What do I see as a threat? What is motivating me to overthink? What emotion is this challenge triggering in me?
Be present
The ideal state is to be grounded and feel confident, this is where you can do your best thinking. Ask yourself: What is important to me about this? What is in my control right now? What are my strengths that will support me through this challenge?
Press the Pause Button
Slowing down, being mindful or practising meditation can help foster an open mind. A daily mindful walk, run, swim with no distractions for however long you have is worth its weight in gold (in my opinion). When you feel like reacting, put space between you and the situation and your reaction.
Fact or Fiction
Can you distinguish between fact, possible fact and an assumption. The mind has a tendency to exaggerate or twist the truth when we overthink.
‘The greatest barrier is the inability to give up what you have done before’ John Whitmore.
To change a thinking habit you must first become more self aware and be willing to take responsibility. To think clearly is a wonderful skill that will enable you to navigate ambiguity more effectively. Try these steps when you next feel overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions and decision making. Please share with me your thoughts.
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